Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Irregardless is not a word

Just in case you thought it was. I'm not saying that you are one of those people. But you have to admit, there are far too many of them out there.

So. I'm still fixated on the Christmas card thing. 

Also, it's rather amazing, but honestly, I have absolutely no sense of direction. None. It took me FOUR tries to get to a place I've been to a million times today. I could visualize it in my head. I just could not figure out how to get there. I kept getting on and off the highway and driving in different directions and through the city and back on the highway. And because we (we being me and my ever constant 4 foot 2 inch companion) had to run 900 errands in the pouring rain 15 days prior to Christmas so that we could get gifts for people who handed us a list and refused to accept our statement that we did not wish to exchange gifts this year,
 [Truly-it went like this: 
Person: So, what do you want for Christmas?
Me: Honestly, nothing. We aren't doing gifts this year. Please don't get us anything.
Person: Well, I'm going to get you something! Here's what we want...
M: Really, don't get us anything. Save your money and come visit us in Italy.
Person: I have to get you something and here's what you can get us.]

 I had promised my ever faithful companion that at the end of fighting our way through malls and bookstores and boutiques and being in the car for so long my back is throbbing we could celebrate by getting ice cream.

And when we pulled up to the mo-fo ice cream place, there's a freaking sign on the door that says "Closed for Winter." Try to explain that to a 4-year-old who is at the end of his rope of cooperation and patience. I understand the closing down of mom and pop places for the winter as it's simply not economical. But this was a freaking chain whose ice cream I don't even like! Luckily another chain was in sight: Starbucks, where I satisfied the slowly melting creature with an organic milk and blueberry muffin.

I'm exhausted. I don't know that I should be, but I am.

2 comments:

Kerouaced said...

I hear people say irregardless all the time and in fact recently caught it slipping out of my mouth. If you catch me saying that please feel free to end my life as soon as possible...

I dated this girl who claimed snuck was a word and sneaked wasn't. She said her mother had a masters degree in English and had told her so. Where the fuck did she get that degree at? 7-11 University? You learned how to read the Slushy directions on the side of the machine so here's your degree. Jeez...

Penny said...

Oh no; it wasn't me, was it? I'm going to have to look that up in the dictionary because I honestly don't know which of those are real words. Yikes. :)