I started my course work last night. It took me a very long time. Probably because I was sharing my workspace with Mort who needed me to look at his drawing and/or magnetix creature every couple of minutes. Or to retrieve the magnetix pieces that kept "falling" onto the floor. Or to tell me how and why he built what he built and drew what he drew.

After I did all the stuff to assure the folks in computer land that I knew how to operate my computer and could thus pay them the exorbitant fee to take this online class, I printed out the 18 page syllabus because I read better when I can hold the material in my hands. And I have short-term-mommy-memory loss. I can tell you when show and tell is and when Mort last had steamed broccoli or received his booster shots, but I don't know anything on the schedule for Duke or for me. Or Stella, for that matter. Because my brain plays the all Mort channel all the time. Which is undoubtedly why I awoke at 1:30 am full of what-ifs and couldn't fall back asleep until 5. And then I had to get up at 7. And I've lost weight, but my jeans that fit when I was heavier no longer fit. Or it's entirely possible that I couldn't figure out how to button them and gave-up. I'll try again later.

Oh! So, can I just tell you how quickly my heart beat when I saw that the first assignment was an editing test? I LOVE that sort of thing. A Where's Waldo of grammatical errors. First I gleefully ripped through it, switching out apostrophes and changing words like "arouse" to "rouse" and matching up verb tenses. But then I started to over think things. And I became uncertain if I should really edit the sentences or just minimally clean them up. If I knew the sentence would read better by switching the phrases would the professor think I was taking away from the voice of the piece or was she looking to see if we were aware that the sentence structure could be improved? It took me about three hours to do 40 lines. It generally takes me three hours to do about five or six full page articles. I agonized over things such as whether or not I should change north east U.S. to Northeastern region of the United States (I did.) In the end, I went whole hog. Because if I was getting paid to do that piece, that's what I would have done. I would rather have the professor tell me that I over edited rather than that I missed too many extraneous bits and bobs. I think? I don't know. Neither scenario is great.Was I just showing off, hoping that when we dissect sentences and I have no memory of what a dangling participle is the professor will remember that I knew it's a Canada goose and not a Canadian goose? Probably. And of course, I am now checking my online grades every two minutes to see how I fared.

Yesterday, all of the mommies at the bus stop were summoned by the bus driver who informed us that one of our wayward children had repeatedly opened the window, thus setting off the alarm. (I am so old that when I rode the bus,there were no window alarms. You were allowed to open the window and get fresh air. And throw stuff outside. And write the name of boys you liked on the foggy glass.) The bus driver said none of the kids would fess up, so she yelled at us for awhile instead. Which would have been fine, but it had started to rain. And I had to hold my mail over my head because it seemed like a good idea at the time and it got all wet and I couldn't read it. I could tell right away by Mort's face that he hadn't done it. (I hope that kid keeps wearing that kind of stuff on his face, it will make my job so much easier.) And sure enough, he was the lone kid who had not participated. I praised him for choosing to not do something that he knew was wrong, but it was all reverse psychology. Because I know damn well that had he been ABLE to reach the window, he would have joined in on that action in a second.

Gotta go check my grades again.