Tonight is Survivor. I'm not sure how the rest of this season is going to go as everyone I liked has now been voted off the island. Are the kids still using that catch phrase or am I just showing that I am perpetually stuck in the 90s? I still really cannot believe that Boston Rob was double-crossed by his team. I hope everyone feels like big dummies when they see how they were manipulated by Russell! Do you hear that, Team Villain? You are dummies! And from now on you will be known not as the Heroes and Villains, but as the Heroes and Zeros. Goodness, I am clever.

I have decided that in addition to the pregnancy parking spaces and spaces reserved for patrons with small children, I would like stores to add "I feel lazy" parking spots. Because that would be funny. And that would make me want to shop there just so I could park in that spot.

I also would like to propose an idea for gym motivation: Someone needs to figure out a way that just when you think you're done with your workout, or feel like you can't do another rep or keep running on the treadmill at that incline, you could try on all the clothes in your closet. Because I'm pretty sure it would be great incentive to keep going. At least for me it would.

Despite the fact that I've been going to the gym pretty religiously, I have yet to lose any weight.(The Easter candy is obviously not being negated by an extra 10 minutes tacked onto my workout) I have gotten stronger, but it doesn't make my clothes fit any better. Today it took me 23 minutes to find a pair of shorts I would wear out of the house. And so I went to a local chain store in the hopes of finding a pair of shorts that transformed me into being ten pounds thinner and four inches taller. Now I think every woman in the world is well-aware that the mirrors and lighting in the dressing rooms outside your home are rigged. Hence the phenomenon of loving something in the store and hating it when you put it on at home. So having lovely lighting and tricksy mirrors is smart business for a store. But today, today their trickery failed them!

I had a slew of shorts in hand, closed the door to the dressing room and caught a glimpse of myself from behind in one of the mirrored walls. And I was shocked to see that I did not look as horrible in my current shorts as I had thought. Or at least I did not look as squat and wide in the kind lighting and elongating mirror as I did in my more honest mirror at home. This is not to say I look good, but rather that I did not look as bad as I had originally feared. I think I may have even caught the briefest glimpse of a possible muscle on the back of my leg. And so I didn't even try on any shorts because I don't need another pair of transition shorts until that wonderful day arrives when I am able to fit into my "real" clothes. My current transition shorts will do just fine. Thank-you fun-house mirrors!