Nights out sans the four foot person in the family are always exciting. Nothing actually has to happen in order for this to be so, it's just the act of venturing into the world with a bag that contains only your own essentials and not a jumble of snacks and kleenex and crayons and odd scraps of paper and Backugans. It's exciting to use a public restroom on your own, without having first to encase said restroom in Purell coated bubblewrap, screeching, "Don't touch that!" on an endless loop. It's exciting to not have to remind anyone about indoor voices and to be able to freely swear and/or use words like stupid without cringing and having anyone remind you that those are not very kind words.
It's enjoyable to just be able to concentrate on making fun of the people around you. Case in point, there were a gaggle of 50 somethings sitting behind us at Revolutionary Road last night who may or may not have imbibed too many glasses of Zima spritzers before hitting the road. Their voices overroad all other sounds. They had horrific cigarette and whiskey infused laughs. Their conversation was peppered with inanities such as, " I think that texting during a movie is so annoying! I think it's just the rudest thing anyone can do! Kids have no idea that the light from their phones ruins the movie for everyone! I just want to snatch the phone right out of their hands!" Yes, yes, texting is almost as annoying as...loud boozy women sitting behind you and not using their inside voices perhaps? A picture of Daniel Craig flashed upon the screen and one of the lovlies moaned, "MMMMMM! Look at him." Shudder. Another interrupted herself to ask, "What movie are we seeing again?" Cue laughter.
Also enjoyable are the never fail people who come in late to an almost full theater, yelling in a whisper, "I can't see a thing!" Well...yes. That's because it's a movie. Movies are viewed in the dark. The movie has already begun, hence the lack of lights. We're very sorry. Had we known you were coming, we would have waited. These people then must march up and own the stairs, "There's no seats! I don't see anywhere to sit!" before finally admitting defeat and slinking into the front row.
However, when you do not go out at night very often, these things become more of a fascination and less of an annoyance. It's like a play being performed for your own amusement.
Next up: people who wait in a very long line at the grocery store with their very full carts and then chose to pay with a check that they can only begin to fill out once all of their groceries have been packed and placed in their cart. They cannot have filled out their check at home, or while waiting in line because the date or the name of the grocery store may change. And they have to use checks because they have never heard of these new-fangled things called debit cards and/or cash. For some reason, people who pay with checks are also unable to write their check amount properly on the first try and must go through at least three checks and many questions before settling on a figure they deem acceptable.
Good stuff. Humans are immensely fascinating creatures.
2 comments:
Grrr, people in grocery lines are VERY annoying. I waited in line once while a woman waited for someone to price check a pastry. This was after she used 5 thousand coupons and generally pissed around. When the kid returned with the pastry ten minutes later he informed her it was something like 3 bucks. "Well, I don't want it then," the woman said. She weighed about 500 pounds and this pastry was the size of a dingy. It was VERY cheap for the size of it. I almost bitch slapped her on the spot. Can you believe that?
it is so interesting how we try SO hard NOT to affect people negatively... for instance, you would have your reusable bags spread open and ready so you could bag your own groceries AND you would have even turned all the products sideways/backwards/upside down so as to more easily expose the barcodes to the grocery store clerk. sometimes i just think most people are completely oblivious to everything... to good things, AND to annoying things.
so, next time you go out of your way to be kind and efficient, just know I would be the person in line behind you who appreciates the effort. and i am sure you are teaching your child many morals just by doing things the way you do... leading by example.
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