While having lunch at school, another child in Mort's class (let's call him Dennis) left no doubt in my mind as to where Mort has been learning his new vocabulary. Dennis asked me if I knew what licking a beaver meant (before I could formulate a response to that through my stunned brain, he assured me it meant you were licking your butt.); told the table he would grow hair on his "pee pee"(really? you can't teach your child the proper name for penis?); and used the words "butt" "poop" "fart" "boobie" and "nipples" more times in a half-hour than I believe I have heard those words used in the last three years.

And this was before Dennis gulped the rest of his juice and announced he was "drunk."

What in the world is this kid being exposed to at home?

And please, please, please do not let him be in the same class as Mort next year.