Seeing as how it took me seven tries to stand-up this morning because my calves hurt so badly that I couldn't put any weight on them, I may as well come clean: I've joined a gym. I'm trying to become long-term healthy and fit.

On the plus-side, I have thus far been successful in protecting my back from even the slightest twinge.

On the negative side, I obviously have no idea what is a proper amount of weight to lift or how many times said weight should be lifted. Because my calves have hurt for three days and they feel like I have surgically inserted softballs into them.

Now of course I could do the obvious and meet with the personal trainer to get myself set-up on a program. After all, I know nothing other than now that I'm doing this, I want to be ripped and I don't want to wait. I have a friend who did just this and she is very happy with the results as seen by the program suggested by said personal trainer to the degree that she is looking into hiring her on for more sessions.

I think I must just like to make things hard on myself. And I'm too embarrassed to admit I have no idea what I'm doing. I've been switching between doing cardio and weight--one day upper body, another day lower body. And I've gained 4 pounds.

And no, I don't believe that it's because I'm building muscle. Because even though we've all heard that adage that a pound of muscle weighs more than a pound of fat, I don't buy it. Because a pound weighs a pound regardless of what is being weighed. It's like that feathers and bricks: if you drop a pound of bricks and a pound of feathers from the top of a building, which will hit the ground first? Theoretically, they should hit the ground at the same time because they both weigh a pound. (See how I used italics for emphasis?)

Yes, I do believe that a pound of muscle is more streamlined and compact and more effective for your body's functions than a pound of fat.

So we will have to chalk my weight gain up to me not watching what I'm eating. Because yesterday I made a smoothie: low-fat yogurt, blueberries and a banana. It was awesome. And then I wondered how many calories were in it. I checked out the amount of calories in a couple handful of blueberries and a banana. My seemingly healthy breakfast had more calories in it than I had just burned on the elliptical machine.

Yeah, maybe I need to meet with the personal trainer.