Well, I am not going to lie. Things have been a little crazy around here. Or I've been a little crazy around here. Either/or. Take your pick. I won't be offended.

I tried to cram in a week's worth of stuff into yesterday. Why? Yeah, I don't really know. Probably because I spent the earlier part of the week mindlessly washing the kitchen floor over and over again in a vain attempt to eradicate the sticky spots that emerged post-Monday dinner. Oh, and I was able to sucker Mort into gardening with me by pretending I didn't want him to. I can't believe I didn't think of that earlier! Lately our conversations have been a broken record:

Me, "Want to work in the garden with me?"

Mort, "No."

Me, "Please?"

Mort, "No, thank-you."

Me, "C'mon, it will be fun!"

Mort, "No thanks."

Me, "Well, you have to come outside because it's a nice day and you need fresh air and you aren't sitting inside all day and I'm going outside and so are you."

However, this week I have merely pulled on my Wellies and announced, "I''ll be in the garden if you need anything."

Darn if I barely unearth my trowel before he marches outside with his Wellies and gardening tools announcing that he came to help. And help he does! He pulls weeds and digs holes and pounds in fence stakes and spreads seeds and looks for any gaps where the rabbits might slip in and then he goes and plays with his friends. Win/win.

And my yellow peppers are up! Things are really trucking along.

What was my point? Oh, yes, so yesterday I tried to get going on preliminary plans for two bridal showers, send out the invitations to Mort's birthday party, buy all the ingredients for Duke's birthday dinner and cake, wash eight loads of laundry, wash the dog (third time this week, but I'll get to that in a minute), clean the bathrooms, organize Mort's stuff for consignment, schedule Mort's physical, look at houses for our annual mommy beach week, seek out a new safe-for -Earth-humans-and-pets floor cleaner since the kitchen floor was still sticky(Ecover Floor Soap did the trick!) and make a complicated dinner that I will not again make. If something has that many steps, it should be super good. But it was only okay. Yeah.

So, Stella. Oh, Stella. Stella has been suffering from some type of allergy for at least six months at this point. Probably longer. It feels like longer. We have been to the vet so often they now know our voice on the telephone. Just like the pizza place. The vet has been through many trial and tribulations over the ill-bred mess that is Stella, but this one has really taken the cake. He finally decided to go to our last resort : a round of steroids. He was trying to avoid this as it would trigger one of her other issues we had finally cleared--her leaky bladder. And I am not exaggerating when I say I have been scrubbing the carpet at least 20 times a day. Not including the scrubbing M does.

One of my friends suggested doggie diapers. They are eco-friendly ones that you just wash. Aren't friends wonderful? My hands were starting to cramp between all the scrubbing and gardening. And God love that little dog, because she did submit to wearing them. She was fairly horrified, but she did it. However, she was

laying on M's legs later that evening and peed all over him. But, it was worth a try. And it's not like she peed on me. Another unfortunate side effect of her steroid use is Stella's insatiable appetite. I do believe I was just singing her praises about how great she is around food that is not hers. Now she has become a bottomless pit. Yesterday she tried to choke down the crust from Mort's pb &j that was ON HIS PLATE. ON THE TABLE. She refused to give-up even when I caught her. Luckily, her sheer greed in attempting to swallow it whole without chewing gave me the time to yank it from her mouth. Later on, she was quicker and snatched and swallowed an entire organic turkey sandwich on whole wheat. I mean, the dog is nine years old and she has never even sniffed hopefully around our people food. Duke is convinced it's some type of roid rage. Maybe she's eating to ease the shame of the diaper.

And Duke had an excellent point regarding Madonna's failed adoption attempt. If you are a child who will be raised in an orphanage, how pissed will you be upon learning that one of the wealthiest women in the world wanted to adopt you and make you her heir and someone decided stamp a big red "NO" on that? Granted you can't watch television if you're one of Madonna's kids. But you could probably get some pretty decent meals and learn yoga. And have access to clean water. I'm just sayin'.

I see that Japan has plans for a robot to walk on the moon. Can we maybe get cracking on that library book returning robot I'm hoping for?