Monday, February 16, 2009

And today's grocery store saga.
As we approach the cashier, I said to my son, "Don't let me forget the stamps." He has a much better memory than I with my poor old multi-tasking noggin.
Me to the cashier, "I need a book of stamps, please."
Mort, "You remembered! Good job, Mommy!"
Cashier to me, " Do you usually forget the stamps?"
Me, "Oh yeah, even if I write 'stamps' across the back of my hand I forget."
Cashier, "Don't feel bad. I forget too and I'm half your age."
I stared at her in complete bewilderment, unsure of how to answer. I pegged her at mid-thirties, so one of us was drastically off our age-o-meter.
She went on to say, "You're in your 40s, right?"
Me, "No..."
Her, "Well, how old are you then?"
Me, probably having a bright red face at this point, "36."
Her, waving a hand dismissively, "Okay, so you're pretty much 40."
Me, still staring at her in abject horror.
Her, "Well, you've got 16 years on me."
Me. Please stop talking. Please stop talking. Please stop talking. Please do not continue with your observations on how much older I look than my actual age.

That is the first time anyone has ever said it. I guess I'm in that bracket now. Man. wow. What a blow! I have heard that it happens around now, but still. I guess I thought I could keep the aging process at bay for a little longer.
I was hoping my mom's good genes were running rampant through my DNA. Ugh.

Not that it makes me feel great when people think I'm significantly younger than I am, either. Getting carded is silly, but I assume they have a strict boss who has gotten busted by undercover underagers. Late 20s and I appreciate your kind but inaccurate eye. Early 20s and I worry that I come across as dippy or that I dress too young for my age.

I didn't know it at the time, but I would gladly take worrying about that as opposed to being thought older than I am. And no, it shouldn't make me feel weird. But yes, it does.

I know in my heart of hearts that my inside (27) and outside (apparently in my 40s)no longer match. But for Pete's sake, you don't need to point it out!





2 comments:

papersatchel said...

okay. girls in their late teens and maybe early twenties, (chomping on bubble gum and scanning your tampons and eye cream, no less) have no clue about age. she had no idea what she was saying could ever be detrimental to your day... she just assumed something because she saw a little kid in tow. maybe she was really just jealous of your clear resin bubble ring with the rhinestones from forever xxi because her cousin shauna has one and when she went to copy her, there were no more in the tri-state area to fit over her giant knuckle-cracking joints.

everyone still asks me how much younger my sister is than i am... so, if anyone should feel insulted, well, i guess i should.

Steven M. Messner said...

Dear Lord Baby Jesus you don't look like you're in your forties. I'll bet that girl had a crack pipe hidden in her bra...