Oh, give me a mofo Michael Phelps break. Uh-oh! A 23 yr. old smoked pot!?!? YIKES! That's never before happened to a 23 yr. old. I'm sorry....and this is news, why? Because he swims really fast? Unless he was babysitting your 2 year old at the time, hozabout you shut the hell up. In fact, an entire generation  of children born to parents who came of age in the 60s and 70s shows that even if he WAS babysitting your 2 year old, it would probably have been okay.

Oh, but he's a role model! Yeah? Says who? He's a guy who worked really hard and did really well at the Olympics. That's all he signed-up for. Why do people insist on making these people they don't even know into "role models"? Do you know who my role model was when I was growing-up? No one. Who the fuck has a role model? Sure, I thought Wonder Woman and Daisy Duke were pretty cool, but I didn't try to fly an invisible jet and I didn't try to get a job wearing short-shorts at the Boar's Nest.

What is this role model shit? Who looks up to athletes and celebrities? Isn't is silly to lament that Led Zeppelin spent their time rocking and throwing shit out of windows instead of mentoring children? 'Cause parents, that one is pretty much your job and no one else's. Now hand me my bong.