So, I work with children on a regular basis. And the reoccurring theme is, "My mom and dad don't live together." Hey, mine don't either, so no biggie. Except that they did when I was in first grade and I think Mort is one of the very few kids in his class that lives in a two parent family.

Anyway, the bigger fish to fry on this topic was that I was helping the kids write their autobiographies and they would draw pictures of the two, sometimes three houses that they split their times amongst: Mommy's, Daddy's, and Grandma's. Mommy and Grandma usually were depicted as having fairly small houses, while Daddy had a very large house. Whether this is because it was true or merely a child's perception, I don't know.

The other thematic common was that, "I like my dad better. Mommy is mean." Daddy in these books was depicted as playing frisbee and video games and visiting the playground with the kids. Mommy wasn't usually depicted at all.

Considering that Mommy is the custodial parent in these situations, I couldn't help but wonder at the child's perception of "mean." Because my guess is that Daddy sees the kids on weekend, maybe even more, but isn't responsible for the day-to-day raising of the child and so therefore has the luxury of playing with them to their child's hearts' content. Which is wonderful for the child and I applaud the dads who are doing this and making an effort to be a dad even though they may not live with their child full-time. I think it's rare in today's world , so rock on.

And I know that someday the kids will realize that their mom wasn't mean, but that she was probably working full-time and then juggling the day-to-day parenting responsibilities on her own. She's the one who has to enforce bedtime rules, help with homework, make sure you are eating well, and watching age-appropriate, limited amounts of TV. She has to make sure you have clean clothes, have brushed your teeth, played outside, cleaned your room, are using your manners, and while she is doing this and working outside the home, she has to do all the work inside the home as well, the cooking, the cleaning, the grocery shopping, the bill-paying, the keeping up with obligations to extended family members...

And she probably has to do all of this while being told that she's mean and daddy is fun.

I know that just by the nature of our personalities and my being the primary caregiver for Mort, Duke is much more fun then I and devotes a lot more time to playing with Mort than coaxing him to eat his vegetables. And that's okay, because we're a team. But for a single mom, I hope the time of their children thinking that they're mean, rather than a superwoman comes sooner rather than later.